S'mores

For me, the highlight of our mountain vacation was the nightly marshmallow roasts. Allen and the boys would build a fire, and the whole family would find suitable sticks and sit down to roast marshmallows. I loved it,, not only for the time our family had together, but for the absolute hilarity of watching everyone else's s'more-making methods. (Needless to say, none but mine achieved perfect results.)
Here are all the Fountain ways to cook (or in some cases incinerate) a marshmallow.

AMY: Hold marshmallow a reasonable distance from the flames and toast until top looks like a crispy, dark gold muffin. Remove marshmallow and consume without waiting for s'more to be assembled.

ANDREA: Hold marshmallow very close to top of flames. Let flames gently lick marshmallow. Slowly and repeatedly dunk marshmallow in flames. Do not allow marshmallow to be incinerated. Slowly turn marshmallow upon the stick. Roast thusly until exterior is light, crispy golden brown and interior is melted into a nearly liquid state.

ALLEN: Hold marshmallow a reasonable distance from the flames. Becoming distracted, let stick droop closer and closer to the fire until marshmallow is completely consumed. Wait for someone to say, "It's on fire, Allen." Shout crossly. Pull marshmallow out of flames. Blow. Glare at blackened and deformed marshmallow. Consume. Ask for another one.

ALLISON: Attempt Andrea's method, but, lacking the skill, drop marshmallow into the fire. Stare disbelievingly. Shout, "That's the THIRD TIME TONIGHT!" Plead for another marshmallow.

AVERY: Place marshmallow directly in flames. Watch as marshmallow is conflagrated. Pull flaming marshmallow out of the fire and wave in the air, cackling maniacally. Extinguish by flapping crazily. Consume.

ANDREW T.: Prop marshmallow stick up by the fire. Lean back. Become distracted. Check on marshmallow just in time to observe it dropping from the stick and into the burning coals. Make unbelieving noise. Attempt to retrieve marshmallow. Observe that it is on fire, melting, and becoming one with the coals. Get another marshmallow. Repeat.

ABIGAIL: Hold marshmallow over the flames until slightly warm. Assemble and consume s'more.

ANNA: Hold marshmallow over flames for one-second intervals. Between intervals, remove marshmallow and ask, "Is it done yet?" Finally exasperate older sister. Assemble and consume s'more.

AIDAN: Plead for and receive someone else's s'more.